Huge predicament

My grandmother is really sick with cancer. She lives in NY. My mom is one of four daughters...2 live near my grandma, one lives in Cali and my mom lives in NC. For my whole life we've only gone to NY every 2 years to visit relatives, so obviously I don't feel super close to my extended family.
My aunts have requested that my mom (who has been a nurse for 30 years) come to NY to help take care of my grandma since she probably won't be around very much longer. Obviously I want my mom to spend time with her mom. There's just one problem...

My mom is G's caretaker while we're at work.

Yea...this is complicated. My mom has her own apartment (the lease is up June 12) but she stays with us during the week because she doesn't have a driver's license. So, in case you haven't figured it out...here's our list of things to do ASAP:

• find a day care for G (I am dreading this...and I don't know if I'll be able to find one who will take him for only 7 weeks...hubby and I are both teachers and that's how long we have left in school).
• box up and move all of mom's stuff to storage (I am also dreading this...she has a lot of crap!)
• get mom to the airport

I know these are only 3 things, but the first 2 are HUGE. Trust me, I have not taken it for granted that I've had my mom (i.e. someone I know and trust with the most important thing in my life). We also have a good situation as far as payment because a 5 star day care would cost us $800 a month. We're getting by with paying mom's rent ($605) and her utilities (about $100). It's a great situation...and now it's gone. I want to hyperventilate just thinking about leaving G with strangers.

I'm also upset because we tried to go to NY during Christmas break (which would have been crazy since G was only a month old...but we had 2 weeks off to go) and spring break (which was last week), but my aunts said it wasn't a good time. Now hubby and I absolutely cannot go until June 16...and if we don't make it in time I'm going to be devastated.

Prayers would be much appreciated.

Confession #21: This blog isn't as great as I imagined it would be

There are a couple of reasons that I think this is true...
#1: I have no idea how to design a nice webpage. I look at the webpages of all the people under my favorites (which by the way, if you haven't checked out "Heir to Blair" she is my absolute fave mommy blogger) and they're so cute...and mine is so BLAH. Anyone know how to fix this problem? (besides paying someone!)
#2: I have pretty much NO time to blog. I leave for work by 6am and get home any time between 5 and 8 at night...and of course I want to spend time with G when I get home, so that leaves no time for this unless I stay up late (like I am now) and in that case I usually regret it in the morning. I may have to resort to trying to blog during my planning period, but right now I have about a million and 1 things I need to accomplish by the end of the week.
#3: I actually don't think I have that many great things to say. Okay, that's not true...but I didn't want to only have 2 reasons that this blog isn't as great as I imagined it would be.

Improvements to follow, I promise!

Confession #20: I don't know how to balance being a mom and a wife

First off, let me say I'm sorry that I have not been updating this daily like I originally intended. Life has been so busy...blah blah blah.
I've been thinking about this post for a while...what I would say...what I would not say...and I don't think that I have all the right words, but I will try. I honestly feel like no one will understand, but hey...I promised I'd be honest.
My husband and I prayed and prayed and prayed for a baby. We had all but given up...and then *surprise* I got the positive.
Hubby was AMAZING during my whole pregnancy. He basically waited on me hand and foot and we were so excited to be starting a family.
When G was born, it wasn't anything like I'd imagined. I was induced, tried to have him naturally, and then had an emergency C-section. Hubby got to hold him first. And I'd definitely never felt such intense pain as I did in those next few days. They say that women forget the pain...that's the only reason why they have another baby...because they've forgotten how much it hurt. I wonder how long it takes to forget, because I am so not there yet.
Anyways, in the hospital we were so caught up in the joy of being new parents. When we got home of course we had to learn how to do this parenting thing. G was very fussy...and it took a while to learn the tricks of how to calm him down. My husband couldn't deal with the crying/screaming, so I did a lot of the caretaking on my own. I didn't mind at all...I cherished every moment that I had with G.
Now that he's getting bigger, I'm trying to teach him and play with him more. For the most part, he isn't terribly fussy...until around 6 or 7 at night which of course is the time hubby gets home from tutoring. He also gets fussy sometimes 30-45 minutes before feeding time (which is a whole other post in itself). I try everything I can to calm him down which usually involves holding him and/or dancing with him. Of course hubby thinks that I need to just let him cry...he thinks that G is going to learn that if he cries he'll be held...and maybe that's true...but if hubby gets so upset when G is hysterical, why wouldn't I try to calm him?
It just seems that hubby and I are living in 2 different worlds now. My world is consumed by G as soon as I get home from work. Hubby separates himself either by doing work (which he legitimately has) or watching TV downstairs to stay away from the crying.
I just don't know what to do...I love my husband so much...but I love G so much too and right now they don't seem to be meshing.

Confession #19: I've already left G for the weekend

I feel like such a bad parent, but this weekend I took 15 teenagers to a convention 2 hours away and left G with my mom. My SIL thinks I'm crazy...she was all "you need to get away from him so he can get used to other people" and "you need to put your marriage first" (hubby went as a chaperone, so we did get to stay at a hotel together). I know she's right, but I know lots of moms who waited until their child was a year old or older before they went away.
My hubby has booked a cruise this summer and G is staying here...so I guess I'd better suck it up.

When did you first leave your child overnight and what were the circumstances?

Stay strong

Wow...
I don't know if it's from starting SouthBeach or the 24 stomach flu I had where lots came out but nothing went in (except a frosty...totally not SB approved, I know) or the calories I've been blasting doing the "30 day shred" every day or what...but...
I lost 8 pounds last week! I am so freakin' excited! I'm not doing my measurements again for a few more weeks, but I do weigh myself every Monday.

I teach a Modern Fitness class 1st period and female weight lifting 3rd period, so I get 2 work outs a day. I have 8 girls in MF, and for the most part they've been doing pretty well. I told them from day one that we would be doing the 30 day shred for the whole month of March to get us ready for spring break. We're in the middle of week 3 and they are
trying
to
break
me!
They whine whine whine and beg to do "something else". I know they really want me to give in and say "ok, you can have a free day."
HECK
NO!
I am determined to do this thing and dang it...if I'm doing it, they can do it too. I keep reminding them that they are athletes (I have 4 softball players and 1 soccer player in there) and I just had a baby 3 months ago. I think they're tired of hearing that, but
I
will
not
give
in.
Geez...teaching is a lot like parenting, isn't it? :)

Confession #18: I don't really look forward to weekends anymore

For many many years, weekends were when hubby and I could spend some quality time together. (Remember, we dated for 6 years before we got married and then were married for 6 before I got pregnant). We'd do whatever...walk the mall, go for a 5 mile jog, watch movies all day...or my personal fave: go out to eat at Moe's and then go to Borders, get a stack of my favorite trashy magazines and a frozen drink and read for hours.
Now that we have a 3 month old we don't get to do that anymore. Even though his fussiness has improved A LOT, weekends still seem to be bad. It's like he's saved it up all week and then it rears its ugly head. For the past few weeks he hasn't pooped at all on Friday and then Saturday he fusses a lot. (Any ideas why this might happen week after week?) Fortunately, he did poop yesterday but he's been fussy today. He's taking a nap right now (and daddy is too) but since he's already been a fussy gus, hubby doesn't want to go out in public. Not sure what we would do, but I'd be content just walking around the mall. I might go tonight while hubby and his brother are at a men's church conference.
Anyhoo...I'm hoping this all clears up soon because starting next week we have a full calendar for about the next 6 weekends!

Confession #17: I had my first "I look like a terrible parent" moment

The little man had a cough and congestion all weekend, so I took him to the pediatrician on Monday. Our appointment was at 2, but we sat in the waiting room until 2:30. It was so freakin' hot in there...and G started fussing...which quickly turned to all out screaming. I tried all my tricks...none worked. I took off his shirt in case he was too hot...didn't help. Other parents were giving me the look of pity. Finally the receptionist asked if we wanted to bring him back to a cooler room. Yes! (So basically we got put in a holding cell.)
A few minutes later, we were taken to the real examination room. He continued to scream. The doctor came in and she held him and he calmed down a little bit. When he started fussing again she said "Do you have a bottle? Why don't you feed him?" Well he'd just eaten 2 hours before that...but I made a bottle and of course he calmed right down. Thank God he weighs almost 17 pounds at 3 months or she'd think I was starving him. (read this about a couple who recently starved their baby...horrible! http://www.seattlepi.com/sound/414761_sound82817997.html  )
So as if that wasn't bad enough, today I was talking to a student and she said "I heard Geoffrey didn't have a good visit at the doctor the other day." Huh??? How did she know?! Well apparently a girl in her class was in that waiting room and saw the whole scene and said "Mrs. J looked like she didn't know what to do."
Yea little girl...I hope your baby is perfect. We'll see how easy it is when you're the mom.

No...I'm not bitter.