First off, let me say I'm sorry that I have not been updating this daily like I originally intended. Life has been so busy...blah blah blah.
I've been thinking about this post for a while...what I would say...what I would not say...and I don't think that I have all the right words, but I will try. I honestly feel like no one will understand, but hey...I promised I'd be honest.
My husband and I prayed and prayed and prayed for a baby. We had all but given up...and then *surprise* I got the positive.
Hubby was AMAZING during my whole pregnancy. He basically waited on me hand and foot and we were so excited to be starting a family.
When G was born, it wasn't anything like I'd imagined. I was induced, tried to have him naturally, and then had an emergency C-section. Hubby got to hold him first. And I'd definitely never felt such intense pain as I did in those next few days. They say that women forget the pain...that's the only reason why they have another baby...because they've forgotten how much it hurt. I wonder how long it takes to forget, because I am so not there yet.
Anyways, in the hospital we were so caught up in the joy of being new parents. When we got home of course we had to learn how to do this parenting thing. G was very fussy...and it took a while to learn the tricks of how to calm him down. My husband couldn't deal with the crying/screaming, so I did a lot of the caretaking on my own. I didn't mind at all...I cherished every moment that I had with G.
Now that he's getting bigger, I'm trying to teach him and play with him more. For the most part, he isn't terribly fussy...until around 6 or 7 at night which of course is the time hubby gets home from tutoring. He also gets fussy sometimes 30-45 minutes before feeding time (which is a whole other post in itself). I try everything I can to calm him down which usually involves holding him and/or dancing with him. Of course hubby thinks that I need to just let him cry...he thinks that G is going to learn that if he cries he'll be held...and maybe that's true...but if hubby gets so upset when G is hysterical, why wouldn't I try to calm him?
It just seems that hubby and I are living in 2 different worlds now. My world is consumed by G as soon as I get home from work. Hubby separates himself either by doing work (which he legitimately has) or watching TV downstairs to stay away from the crying.
I just don't know what to do...I love my husband so much...but I love G so much too and right now they don't seem to be meshing.
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I think this is common. I mean, I've read before that having a child can affect your relationship because you as a mom first and foremost put your kid first now. That's what you're supposed to do.
ReplyDeleteI worry that this will happen to us as well. But, I think once G gets older, things will iron themselves out.